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Introducing...
Me
My name is Tim Lanier. I am currently a Family Nurse Practitioner with Greater Orlando Hospitalists and Orlando Internal Medicine Center where I am committed to serving every single soul that I come in contact with. For me, working is a privilege especially when I reflect on how far I've come and the changes that I've made to be the person that my patients see
when they look at me and even more, the provider that they entrust with their most valuable asset aside from their soul... their life! I am dedicated to fulfilling their trust by providing the most optimal individualistic care to every single patient regardless of race, nationality, financial status, or gender. I view my work as an honor that I 'get to do' rather than an obligation that I 'have to do' and although I receive thanks from so many, truth is, I even more grateful to them for giving me the opportunity to make their lives better!
It all started...
Growing up, I was always considered a family jewel with a future brighter than the sun. Expectations for me were infinite and I relished in the attention and wanted nothing more than to hear everyone talk about how
great I was and make everyone so proud. When I graduated high school, I enrolled into Florida A&M University as a Pre-Med Biology major. I carried the weight of trying to live up to everyone's expectations daily as I struggled with balancing my own dreams of playing collegiate sports and the hopes of someday playing professionally with everyone else's confidence in me becoming a doctor. Finally on my own for the first time in my life, I succumbed to the temptation of the night- becoming a regular at the clubs and at parties. Before I knew it, I had flunked the entire first semester away and was already receiving academic probation threats from the school.
Unfortunately for me, I never embraced the responsibility of being a student first and I continued to spiral downward and out of control. In just 2 years, I was on the verge of total failure. I had gone from being voted 'most likely to succeed' and being class president in high school to the next FAMU flunk-out who wasn't mature enough to handle the party life that a college town like Tallahassee has to offer. Needless to say, in short time, I lost everything. I lost my scholarship, my high school sweetheart and then love of my life left me, I was fired from my job, my car was repossessed, and then I was evicted from my apartment.
Even at my lowest, I was too proud to return home because I just could not face anyone after not living up to the expectations that so many had of me. I imagined the things that people would say about how they really thought that I was going to be this or going to do that and I didn't want to face the questions about what happened or how I failed and so I chose to be homeless on the streets of Tallahassee rather than go back home. There were many days that I went hungry and many more days that I drowned myself in pity and regret wishing that I could just have the chance to do everything over again. I remember talking to my mom on a collect call I had made from a public pay phone and hearing her plead with me to "just please come home." I told her that I couldn't and it was that night that I laid on the railroad track. I felt the ground shaking more and more violently under me as the light from the train engine grew brighter. The sound became thunderous enough to wake me from my stupor and I rolled off the tracks with about 30 seconds to spare.
I'll never forget...a white man by the name of Blair Clausen, who only knew me from playing pick-up basketball at his church gym several months prior, saw me and took me, an almost complete stranger, into his home, gave me a place to stay, and fed me until I got on my feet. When I left on my
own, I became roommates with a young woman that I met at my new job and, of course, we eventually became more than roommates. I was very unhappy in my life; I hadn't forgiven myself and I hated what I had become. It was at this point in life that I didn't care about anything and it reflected in my life choices as I, for the first time, saw the inside of a jail cell. Unfortunately, this became my existence for the near future and each time, my Mom always found a way to hire an attorney to clean up my stupidity.
Fast forward, I caught a break through a staffing agency working as a debt collector for a finance company. The company was so impressed with me that they hired me full time from the staffing agency. I quickly moved up the hierarchy ladder and was named branch manager of a location in Marietta, Georgia in northern Metro Atlanta. I did well until the economy crashed and the company went through restructuring. I transitioned into warehouse work, selecting orders for Albertson's for a while and Publix for much longer. Although the work was extremely hard, I had accepted that this would be my existence and I purposed myself to working hard with hopes of moving up from role to role within the warehouse until I perhaps reach supervisor.
The Call That Changed My Life...
I was driving on Hwy 316 in Duluth, Georgia when I received a phone call to inform me that my dad had just been shot multiple times and it didn't appear that he was going to pull through. Daddy was tough though, and somehow he survived 4 gunshot wounds, one in his mouth that hit his spine and paralyzed him from his upper back down. When he became stable, he was transferred to a nursing home where he received horrific care. Within 2 months of being at the nursing home, Daddy developed a stage 4 decubitus sore on his
sacrum. Due to untimely cleaning and lack of turning, Daddy became septic through his wound. On 2 other occasions Daddy was transferred from the nursing home to the hospital where he was healed only to return back to the nursing home after the hospital stay to become septic again each time. I had no clue what was going on or what was being discussed because I had no medical knowledge aside from what I learned many years before when I worked as a CNA. I was terrified that another episode of sepsis could be fatal and so I wanted to take Daddy home. Daddy's condition required extensive knowledge for him to receive the appropriate level of care and so I enrolled into nursing school to learn nursing so that I could be sure that Daddy was taken care of optimally. I had no intention of working as a nurse; I was content with my life as a warehouse laborer and my only goal was to be able to safely bring Daddy home.
My Mission
I spent my birthday, May 23, at Daddy's bedside. He was extremely weak and slept most of the time that I was there, but from time to time he would open his eyes and acknowledge me, say a word or two, I would say a few words back, then he drifted back into sleep. He was on multiple antibiotics for sepsis that caused him to become more sick (c. difficile) and it was so obvious to me that Daddy was finally just tired and exhausted and had
very little fight left in him. I remembered several months before a conversation that I had with him when I begged him to "please don't leave me" and I felt that it was so selfish of me. Still, I sat beside what was left of this shell of a man and pleaded with him to keep fighting and not give up and he nodded his head as to say "ok." My family had planned a birthday dinner for me and so as I was leaving, I managed to get Daddy to open his eyes to talk to me. I said to him, "Daddy, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow." He nodded again as to say ok then closed his eyes to drift back into sleep. I walked toward his room door slowly, looking at him, not wanting to leave, praying inside for a miracle... When I got to the room door, I just stood there for a good minute looking back at him and all the tubes and lines that were hooked up to him and all the machines there at his bedside. That was the last time that I saw Daddy alive.
The next day, May 24, God mercifully ended Daddy's suffering and took him home. I was devastated but the lead-up to this day was long enough that I wasn't destroyed. I had a decision to make. I started nursing school to learn enough to be able to take Daddy home- never to actually work as a nurse but after seeing Daddy suffer senselessly due to, what I suspected then and now know to be, poor care and money driven decisions, I decided that it was most important that I fight against the corruption that ultimately led to Daddy being taken from us from within the system. For this reason, I completed nursing school and never stopped. I moved forward and became a Nurse Practitioner to expand my platform and influence so that I am able to make decisions related to patient care and not just simply carry out orders. Today, I continue my education journey seeking licensure in mental health care so that I can personally treat anyone that comes to me for help. I am pursuing my Doctorate of Nursing now as well so that I can also teach at the university level in and impart a spirit of honesty and integrity in new professionals that enter into the nursing field and weed out the students that will graduate and add to the problem of careless, incompetent, non-purposed care that exists today where the priority is financial gain and decisions are made to save a dollar first over saving a life.
My Promise
I rarely make promises so anytime that I do, rest assured, it will be done. I struggle to this day with losing Daddy and that pain fuels my drive, my motivation, my passion, my perseverance, my integrity, and my ambition to do everything in my power to provide the highest, most effective level of care to every single patient that I encounter so that neither they nor their families will experience the suffering that Daddy endured and the pain of
loss that my family still struggles to accept every day. Realistically, I know that I'm just one person and I know that I can't save the world, but each person that I am able to serve will be one less person that will have to worry about falling through the cracks and left susceptible to poor care and treatment. I promise that I will treat every one of my patients as if they were my own Daddy. I may not have all of the answers but you can be certain that if I don't know, I will go through the proper channels to find out to ensure that my patients are receiving the most optimal treatment available relative to their condition. This is my promise and while it will be a cold day in hell before this changes, if it ever does, that will be the day that I put my stethoscope down and walk away from this profession entirely.
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